I hope that you enjoy one of my favorite Dave Barry columns. I wish the quality was better, but it did save me a lot of time. Also, since it was cut and pasted, read through the top half and then move to the bottom half.

On a similar note, you may want to check out the following which takes the importance of giving the right gift to a whole new level:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2077360/beware_of_the_doghouse_hilarious/